Reflecting!

Wow im really sucking at this lol

I’ve been doing this thing for 4 years now where on a certain date I just write a message about how my Christian life is going, what I need to work and just random stuff like that. It started 16/09/09 where I wrote a quick message and vowed to look at it again a year later and although I haven’t really been getting the exact date right, I do end up looking at it and just really reflecting on my year.

As I miss the 16th again its just really interesting to look back and just see what you were thinking. I always think that when I was younger my faith has always been better but its like when I read back it’s like I’m always praying and longing to be closer to God and yet I always seem to be so far and so off in the relationship.

Recently I’ve been having issues with people going how’s your devotions going cos I dont believe that you can say how well you’re going through whether you’ve been doing devotions and it occurred to me that the only reason I say that is cos well… putting it bluntly I havent exactly been the best with devotions and what not. Its funny how I can read back a year or two and be having issues with not praying every morning cos I have early mornings and I don’t remember to yet fast forward a year or two, now I struggle with that drive to want to learn and want to seek.

I don’t know where this is going… maybe I’m too proud to ask anyone to help me in person. It’s like when I read back I just think how young I was or how immature and unknowing of the world I was back then which is why I was able to have such a stronger faith. Its only as a get ‘older’ that I really get how you should have a child like faith.

xxx Jo