A little bit of Italy

I said I would blog and to tell the truth I did type a post 3 days ago but it never posted and somewhere between Frankfurt and Rome it disappeared. 

I type now travelling from Verona to Milan. Legit this is really intensive. I'm only 7 hours behind which compared to Australia (10 hours) is a lot better. 

Recap on the journey so far. It started with a flight from Hong Kong to Frankfurt and then from Frankfurt to Rome. Even before landing Europe looks amazing from the sky. Just flying around the lights and the landscape is unlike anywhere else. 

Rome was the first proper European City I've ever been to. After going to Florence and Venice, there's just a really touristy thing about Rome which makes it not as nice. 

Before heading into Florence we went to David's square, I think, which overlooks all of Florence. It's legit so amazing with the river running through the centre and the dome roofs of churches. The streets are cobble roads and all the buildings are amazing. I love all the shutters and colours. 

One thing I have notified in Italy is the amazing driving. Legit people fit into spots that aren't even spots and manoeuvre the narrow streets so easily. Just the speed and narrowness of everything, I'm in awe of. Really hoping I become this amazing at driving. 

Yesterday I was in Venice. Ive dreamed of going there from a young age. Just the way that the water and bridges and buildings for together is really magical. Went on a gondola ride and yet again amazed how they manage to make the sharpest turns. The stillness and quietness of the little lanes makes it even more special. I was asked whether it stunk hahah and tbh there are stinky places in random alleys but it's not too bad. 

Like all the churches look amazing as well especially the one in the Vatican. It's so big yet it doesn't look that big. It's so perfectly proportioned to not look that big but when you think about how it's like at least 15m high it's cray. 

I feel like I'm always sleepy so time for a nap as it begins to sprinkle. 

xx Jo

(Currently at Autogrill which are stops along highways for people to rest. I legit love them. Really good sandwiches. We'll not really sandwiches cos they're like diff bread with amazing fillings like with different cheeses and prosciutto and the like. ) end with random collection of photos cos I cbs

Farmer Life

I tried really hard to blog every day but damn it's hard and I'm so sleepy hahhaha pretty much today was pretty chill. Not very many highlights. Rain and yum cha with the grandparents. 

what I do have is vague memories of yesterday trekking to Lamar Island, specifically tai O and ye O. Both little villages I guess you would call them. 

 

The highlight of it all would have to be Ye O. To get there we caught a small boat to a little wharf. There we walked till we reached a little farm. It was there we set to work harvesting rice and then whacking the stalk with rice onto a wooden board in a massive bucket. I feel like I'm explaining this very badly but I'm defs not set out to become a farmer unlike my sis who really liked it hahaha

It's really funny that one of the biggest highlight was pulling out radishes. I could do it all day. Basically you look for the radish sticking out the ground the most. We all got to pull one out and it home. At the time we all pulled out the fattest radishes we could see and we're very very excited. It wasn't until we began the hour or so trek back that we realised how heavy it all was. 

I think I'm currently experiencing jet lag which is what I will blame my incoherentness on. Anyways let some of my bad pics do some talking. 

Xxx Jo 

First Stop

Just landed in Hong Kong after a long 8 hour flight! For some reason I have a random fear of take off and every time I take off I just start feet sweating hahaha I'm pretty sure i hate the feeling of dropping even though it's not really long but it's a great time for me to slowly retrust God in just letting go and knowing he has it figured out. I feel like this isn't exactly making sense hahah but currently going off to my cousins now. 

I've recently begun to appreciate what the sky looks like and stuff. Just some quick pics from the sky :) clouds just look really fluffy!!

Xxx Jo

Let the Holidays Begin!

I always seem to be starting with I haven’t blogged for ages but im hoping that will change in the next month! Now its officially less than 24 hours before I get to begin my long awaited holiday. I feel like I should be a lot more excited (not that Im not excited) Cos im going to HONG KONG AND EUROPE! Legit I’ve dreamed of going forever! even my inspirational wall next to my desk is filled with pictures, random quotes and bible verses but my fav are the pictures of EUROPE! For some reason I really love cultural stuff which is why I’m just dying to go!! My current fav place is Busselton Jetty in Western Australia. Idk if i blogged about it last year but it is like omg amazing as! like i’m barely ever impressed by ocean now cos its everywhere but it just looks so nice and magical there!!

Anyways in a bid to help me remember and take in as much as possible I’m aiming to blog every day on my trip and especially in Europe. One year ago I was preparing for a Western Australia and Hong Kong holiday and it was in Hong Kong I realised I had really drifted from God and I felt really lost. Its been a year since then and in many ways I dont feel like I have gotten any closer but I’m really hoping that this trip I will really be able to rebuild that relationship and refind God and discover that awe I once had.

See you in Hong Kong!      

xxx Jo

Life rant

This is probs gonna be some terrible life rant that will suck. I haven't blogged for ages and I'm sorry it won't be something that helpful and stuff hahahaha 

I feel like recently I've just been feeling crap and like just scraping through. I wanna blame the crappy hormonal weather or my own hormonal side but I'm pretty sure it's something deeper. 

I wouldn't ever say it to their face but I legit feel sorry for my fam having to deal with my snappiness and attitude when I'm home after grinning and bearing everything when I'm not home. Tbh I would hate to deal with myself too and I have no idea why they wouldn't just kick me out or something but I guess that's love as they say. 

I'm sure that it all has to do with my basically non existent relo with God and how that's failing so everything else fails but idk why I haven't done anything. I don't even really have a point and I hate how I haven't figured my whole life by the end but this is my real crappy life. I guess it still isn't that bad considering i pretty much have enough to survive and stuff

Xxx Jo 

Some Solid Reading!

Lols again failing at blogging but I’ve been trying really hard to read more recently. I don’t know why I hate reading like I wish so much that I liked it but I really don’t. Anyways, I’ve been trying really hard to read Jesus is ___ by Judas Smith atm.

Just this chapter on grace really does make me think about the way I live and whether I live focussed on Jesus and in grace or whether its more on my own accord with rules and regulations.

I feel like during dry times, it’s Jesus that we all lose focus of. Quoting the book ‘When we focus on Jesus instead of a code of conduct, when grace changes our desires so we are internally motivated and not just externally restrained, we become a lot more fun to be around. Its much better advertising for holiness than biting people’s heads off.’ I know for me that following rules is so much easier and well putting it bluntly it is so much easier to just judge by rule setting and not having to deal with grace and then way it changes you and makes you seek something more.

I wish that I would be able to be someone that is strong, lives an effortless life, just knows what they’re doing but the bleak reality is I’m totally not like that as much as I wish. What I really wanna be like is to be able to live in grace and to know that even when everythings not the way I want, when all seems lost that I have Jesus; i have a hope, just to know that hes there to go its alright. One of my fav quotes from Jesus is __ is ‘If you choose o live by grace and not by rules, you are in for some messy moments. But once you’ve embraced grace, you’ll never let go.’ I long to live like this just living off grace and being able to let go of everything else.

Funny I was coincidentally listening to I Can Feel You by Bethel Music and just this one line ‘there is nothing in this world that will satisfy my soul like you do.’ Really makes me think…

I long to just grow and be able to fully give up everything and live in grace once more and be satisfied truly by Jesus.

xx Jo

A Lovely Long…

Yet again I haven’t blogged for ages but I guess this post has got me pretty excited and will hopefully partially make up for the lack of posts recently. So yeah I will admit that I’ve been having a pretty crap year and i know i exaggerate but like this year has been so stressful, full of assignments, filled schedules and just spiritual dryness.

It didnt really occur to me till just then how amazing it has been. Like they always go when you look back it wasnt so bad and i’ll say honestly that looking back I still remember it being pretty bad but the part im really excited about is that I finally see how my years of praying that God will really change me and really just help me to become more like him  has had its impact. Especially recently Ive been doing a lot of soul searching I would call it and just trying to figure out whats wrong with me, why am I like this, what are my goals, what am I driven by and in doing so Ive encounter my numerous idols and been able to realise whats at my core.

i post this now, exactly 11hours till my maths yearly tomorrow cos well its like the final piece of the puzzle for me. I know i have pride issues, image issues, issues with how I appear to others, issues with my time but today its like i recognised one of my biggest life issues and thats I hate disappointment and letting people down. It’s funny now i think about it but I can honestly say if you ask me to do something I will do everything in my power to complete that task, no matter how stressful it is, how long it will take, what i will have to do and even if it means trying numerous times, thinking of different solutions or even going obviously out of my way to do it. Maybe its the expectation I have for myself. I don’t know but they always say the first step to recovery is realising youre problems and for that I’m legit so thankful.

This all relates back to a sermon I  once heard. I cant remember where or who said it or even the exact details but I remember an analogy they used of how people catch monkeys in some country I cant remember where I assume monkeys live and is tropical. There they have coconuts with holes just large enough for the monkeys hand to reach in where they would place nuts that the monkey would grab. After grabbing the nuts its hand? paw? would become a fist with the nut inside and it wouldnt be able to go unless it let go of the nuts and I remember hearing how easy it is to get free but the monkey would want the nuts (not even sure if its nuts now i think about it) so badly that it wouldn’t released its hand. In the same way, I realise now I’ve been sitting here bottling up my inner issues so much hoping that no one can see it, working on other things and yet it too is so easy for me to let go, so easy for me to just give it all to God, to Jesus to deal with. Its funny the longer I think about it the more I’m like not sure if the sermon was about letting going of sins and being free or whether it was about holding onto God and never letting go but thats how I see it now. Despite that I will say that I feel so much more free now that I’ve realised my issues and really been able to just say it, admit it and know that Jesus has got it covered.

I’ve always put pressure on myself. In many ways I’m like my own asian parent. Its funny cos now I think about it, I realise how much not disappointing myself played a major role in my life and the way that I would give myself consequences for not doing things right and even when I drive, I get so frustrated when I do a bad turn or make a bad decision just cos I know I can do alot better. I will say I reckon expectations and goals are good but when it becomes something you cry and break down over there’s an issue.

Just all this self-searching and figuring out where my issues lay and talking about them to people has really helped me to let go, become more confident and refind myself with God. There was a time where I kept repeating to myself God has a plan and it will be all good and I wasnt even sure whether I believed it anymore but I know now that He always ALWAYS has a plan and a purpose and that I have been so blessed to have those around me who have continuously listened and prayed and given me advice. Its funny how the topic last week for youth was God is sovereign and I guess I can say I see it.

xxx JO

NB. I just figured where the monkey thing was from! it was rice and I’m guessing it was about letting go and being free cos the theme was freedom but yah!

Reflecting!

Wow im really sucking at this lol

I’ve been doing this thing for 4 years now where on a certain date I just write a message about how my Christian life is going, what I need to work and just random stuff like that. It started 16/09/09 where I wrote a quick message and vowed to look at it again a year later and although I haven’t really been getting the exact date right, I do end up looking at it and just really reflecting on my year.

As I miss the 16th again its just really interesting to look back and just see what you were thinking. I always think that when I was younger my faith has always been better but its like when I read back it’s like I’m always praying and longing to be closer to God and yet I always seem to be so far and so off in the relationship.

Recently I’ve been having issues with people going how’s your devotions going cos I dont believe that you can say how well you’re going through whether you’ve been doing devotions and it occurred to me that the only reason I say that is cos well… putting it bluntly I havent exactly been the best with devotions and what not. Its funny how I can read back a year or two and be having issues with not praying every morning cos I have early mornings and I don’t remember to yet fast forward a year or two, now I struggle with that drive to want to learn and want to seek.

I don’t know where this is going… maybe I’m too proud to ask anyone to help me in person. It’s like when I read back I just think how young I was or how immature and unknowing of the world I was back then which is why I was able to have such a stronger faith. Its only as a get ‘older’ that I really get how you should have a child like faith.

xxx Jo

It's been a while

I haven't blogged for ages! The app has even updated like twice since I last did. 

Quick stuff. I'm beginning to appreciate how amazing the world is. Normally at 5:15 in winter the skies already dark and it's really gross but today coming out of the tunnel and seeing blue sky, it's a reminder of how amazing Gods creation is. 

I feel like I'm immune to all those natural wonders and views after seeing so many from a young age. I never understood what my dad meant when he would say look at this view when all I could see was an expanse of trees and some water. It's only now I realise how amazing Gods creation is. Not just at those one off hidden waterfalls that take a day to hike to but also in the closer environment all around.  

Good to be back! Let me leave you with a pic of the sky 5:20 Sydney 12/09/13

It may not appear that amazing but it's appreciating the little things. The natural changes that work so perfectly together. 

Xx Jo (I kinda like looking at the sky ahhaha)

Favourites

Havent blogged for AGEESSSS but just quickly here are a few verses im really really loving atm

Philippians 1:21-26 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!  I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me. (totes wish i had Paul’s attitude)

1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

Hoping to be able to blog more soon maybe… but yeah just some verses im really loving atm. Back to assessments now hahaha

xx Jo

What on Earth am I Here For?

(Double Wammy) I say im gonna do work but really its not gonna happen. So my dad randomly brought me a book ‘What on Earth Am I Here For?’ by Rick Warren, the guy that wrote The Purpose Driven Life. (idk what’s wrong with formatting today but there you go hahhahahah) I guess I’ve always struggled with what’s the point of life and what am i doing and in a way (well not that I’ve read any of the books) maybe it’ll help me to figure it all out.

I never read introductions or dedications of books but like I just really like this idea so here I go: Before you were born,God planned this moment in your life. It is no accident that you are holding this book. God longs for you to discover the life he created you to live – here on earth, and forever in eternity.

I’ll admit that my relationship with God Recently has been a bit (well honestly, quite) bad. The fact that he had planned this all is amazing and that everything I do, think and say he already knew so long ago is just amazing. I long to feel that relationship with God where I just know everything is alright and that nothing matters besides that. It’s been so long since God was my first priority, I just want to get back to where every thought was about Him, about glorifying Him, about how my actions affected it all.

Sort of connecting to that is the song im currently really digging this song atm. Unity by Garage Hymnal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwaA9AuabCg I’ve been listening to it on replay as I write this and i guess I really want to be bound in love, delight in righteousness and hunger for the lost. For me the most significant part is

There is work for our hands
Ground for our feet
(Words that must be spoken,
Salvation must be spoken)

I want that drive, I want to be motivated and just dream of God’s kingdom. I feel like I’m so far from that but I pray my heart will be touched and changed just to love, and desire God.

xx Jo

It’s Been A While

 

Its actually been so long since I’ve thought of blogging. I guess at the moment my life revolves around assessments and more assessments and just school stuff.

I blog now cos i dream of a time when I wont have assessments due all the time or work to do or feel like im behind heaps. It’s nearly the holidays so i’ll probs be blogging again soon cos I really need the stress relief. I wish there was a way to manage time well and just not always get distracted on random stuff but yeah not much to say.

xx Jo

Some Mumble Jumble

I know really well that I haven't been here for a while and in all honesty it's more I cannot keep up with my life.

I've been told numerous times maybe you do too much or maybe it's time you drop something. In all honesty if there was a thing I would drop it would probably be school or like assessments or like idk a subject that gives out lots of those.

In some ways I feel like its as if you're always told to give up stuff. There's never a you can do it or a try to help yourself by doing this or that. I guess I will, say maybe arrogantly that I've matured enough to take everything in. Even when I seem to ignore it or brush things off. Take it in and really think about whether what people say is true. By that I don't mean like the random gossip everywhere type stuff but more like to grow you have to ___.

I don't actually know where I'm trying to go with this and it's all probably mumble jumble but the fact is I guess I'm totally not coping. To think before the holidays my floor was spotless and now it's just a mess and I haven't even emptied half the boxes from my room after we got new floor.

I honestly wish sometimes that my job wasn't school and that I didn't care about my work cos legit in at a stage now where I feel like its one thing after another like a million things at once. All this stuff you can't even do properly cos they're too close together. I really didn't think the jump from yr 9 to 10 would be this large but it is like an insane no work to a hand in one assessment get another three to do. Maybe I will have to drop something or rather but all I know is that for now as much as I hate it all I have is God cos honestly I feel pretty screwed

Xxx Jo
( I honestly don't get why people read this HAHAHAH)

Holiday Reflection

I really haven’t blogged for ages. I would say its a result of all the things i have to do this holidays but then I remember that none of them are done.

I’ve been at my schools ISCF Camp which has really been awesome for me. Being able to just have fellowship with some of my closest friends and make new ones. If there’s something I’ve realised recently its that I want to want God. Like idk how to explain it but I was reading crazy love (yeah im still reading) and i guess I just want to want God. I want to be one of those people who just want to know more and want to love more. It’s sorta weird im praying for the wanting to want but idk. (im not meant to be blogging now but i just thought of the most amazing comparison so im letting myself off the hook unless this takes more than 20mins)

I guess what im saying really badly is that I want a relationship with God like i have shoes. I didnt remember how much i really love shoes until yesterday I was at DFO and brought a pair of heels and legit omg fell in love. Im obsessed. I was crazy happy yesterday at the perfection of these shoes but even today as i think about those shoes im excited and still crazy happy (if not more so) Something Ive learnt recently is that your relationship with God should be like that in the way it grows more and more everyday and the way you want to know everything, you want to just enjoy His company. (Apparently thats how you feel when you love love someone? idk i aint making a comment about that but if its true i’ll be lonely with lots of shoes!!!!)

I know you probs think im crazy but i will forever be obsessed with shoes! JUST LOOK AT THAT PEFECTION RIGHT THERE!

On this slightly crazed note,                                                 x   xx Jo (hopefully i’ll be posting more often soon cos i think you are instore for a few crazy weeks as school starts again and its the midst of assessment period)

Weekly Round Up #1

I don’t know why but I’ve decided randomly to have categories now. Just wanted to say quickly that if I don’t blog for a while its cos I’m currently do my mass of assessments. This year I haven’t really gotten homework except I have a ton of assessments. Im already freaking out so I’m seriously not looking forward to HSC or even yr 11.

I recently discovered Itunes plays radio!!! theres all these nice stuff and like you can get the bible read to you 24/7 (not sure how that is) and like 24/7 christmas carols and the randomest stuff but im currently trying out the religious section with like a trillion different channels to try. You should check it out.

This may or may not sound really random but well tomorrow im gonna be doing a program called 4:12 which is a leadership program for well people to become leaders, I assume. Its basically based on 1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Like not saying i will or won’t become a leader, but I am going and I really am unsure. I never thought I would ever get to stage of deciding whether to become a leader or not. Apparently the whole grade already thinks I will become a leader for my schools ISCF (inter-school Christian Fellowship Group) but I’m legit so unsure.

I use to dream of leading when I was young and just being an awesome leader and like the most amazing speaker but now I’m a bit more unsure. It would be awesome if I was given some random sign from God like JOANNA IT IS MY WILL FOR YOU TO BECOME A LEADER BLAH BLAH but i guess i would also freak out and that wouldnt be very realistic. Anyways I’m praying about that cos I could fail heaps :/

Time to go do work now

xxx Jo

P.s I dont know why but hashtags look really cool hahah dont judge me

Reading Corner!!!

OMG im trying to use Windows Live Writer. I actually have no idea what this is like i was trying to get rid of msn cos I never use it and then i discovered all these random windows things I have. Actually this is like typing in Word. I can even figure how to change stuff easily!! this is actually quite exciting!! omg theres like categories as well! i love this. tis exciting. (my legit face hahah)

Anyways, why i was originally gonna blog was cos the only book (besides Lord of the Flies for English) that I’ve read (well really read half a chapter of) is Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. Now I look at it closely the cover actually looks pretty neat. (I thought I needed a better word than nice) 

Basically (YES I just figured how to type around an image!! This is such an exciting day) the whole book is about sins that Christians have. Not the obvious ones in the word but those smaller things. The part of a chapter I read was about Pride. There are lots of blobs of pride but the two I read were moral self-righteousness and pride of correct doctrine. When I read it, I was all like no i need to read about the pride where you compare yourself with others and go how awesome you are (cos I admit I do that quite often) It wasn’t until today that I realise, I actually have pride of correct doctrine.

I grew up in a Christian family, even went to a Christian primary school. In a way, I’ve always been knowledgeable about Bible stuff and all the theory stuff. I could so tell you the shortest verse in the bible (Jesus wept. John 11:35) and the orders of the books. If you knew me when I was young you would probably be able to tell I had pride in knowing all this stuff (it can seriously get you so many prizes and lollies) but as you grow older you learn that you have to be humble and modest and not walk around going I’m so brilliant I know all these facts.

As I’ve grown, its shown less outwardly but inside I’m still like No. thats wrong this is how it is blah blah blah. It wasnt until today that it hit me properly. The pride of correct doctrine is basically about how as Christians we all feel strongly, that what we think is right and our knowledge is correct so whatever someone else believes must be wrong. The challenge is being humble in your own convictions and not discounting everyone else’s straight out. Your opinion may not change but grow stronger but you should still treat the other person with love and respect, after all that is what we are called to do.

My fav quote from this book (well the 3 pages I’ve read so far) is where Jerry comments about a book that he strongly disagreed with writing in his letter:

“Please note that I am saying ‘things with which I disagree,’ not things wherein he [the author] is wrong. i may find out when I get to heaven that I am the one who was wrong.”

Challenge of the week has been loving and just being mindful of what I say about other theories and doctrines. I feel like at the end if the core; Jesus died and resurrected to save us from sin so that we can now be with God in heaven₁ , we shouldnt let all these other petty things separate us from praising and thanking God together.

xxx Jo

1. (WOOO first footnote) I feel like this is rather controversial and if my dad read it he would be like no theres all these other things that we dont agree with but I hope you get what I mean like we are sinful, Jesus dies and takes our sin, Jesus resurrects and we can now enter heaven if we have faith. Like just believe faith can save us and not our own works or having to tick a certain list of things.

Double Wammy

It's quite sad I basically died, but to make up for it..i guess.. a DOUBLE WAMMY! two post in one day.... well more  like a post which i never quite finished and this one.

I've actually been asking my self what have i been up to, cos legit recently it seems like i dont do anything (which is pretty much true considering i spent 3 hours yesterday watching ice melt. LEGIT for science) But then it dawned on me as i admire the wall opposite me how I've been trying to organise my room. Its really weird cos if you've ever been in my room, you'll know the floor legit has stuff everywhere. like no joke. I've started organising from my study corner out lets just say the only thing neat enough for a pic is my desk (which i dont use) and the wall.

There's this fancy site called society6 (http://society6.com/) with heaps of expensive stuff where basically there's a pattern or something and you can make it into an iphone case or a pillow or something like that and they send it ot you. Idk its heaps expensive but basically you choose a design and then what you want and then it gets sent to you. Being the povo saddo I am, I've opted for save image and printing but its actually looking to be a pretty awesome wall. The ones I've gotten mine off are http://society6.com/PocketFuel designed by Pocket Fuel. Actually i first randomly followed them on instagram and the pics look really cool with awesome verse reminders. As you can see I have more squares yet to bluetakced but i will endeavour to keep you posted.

 

I really feel like i should do something more constructiv with my life aka an assessment but hey thats not gonna happen so might as well make my room heaps nice.

 

Sorry for being gone for so long,

xxx Jo

PS im tryning something called reading what you wrote before you publish and i make heaps of typos and gramtical mistakes hahahah fail much

 

Recap?

It's like a died its been so long. Saddest thing is nothing interestings happened. I don't even know when the last time I blogged was but I got an awesome chair from Ikea. It's a pöang. Sounds heaps fancy but legit I sit so much more now. I cbs a pic so heres the link if you ever feel like buying a nice chair
http://www.ikea.com/au/en/catalog/products/S89901737/


It's like down pouring. Hahahahaha still have training. Still have sport. Still even had a swimming carnival. Well half of one. I will write something legiter soon but for now xx Jo

Random Stuff? 3/2/13

A few really different stuff to flak about.

Firstly I just wanna say so thankful that I legit can't remember what happened in sanctum now so no more scary drowning people thoughts.

Secondly I'm currently really bloated after going to one of my fav restaurants, Mamak. I don't know why I like it cos I always spend half the time with my tongue on fire from all that chili but its heaps good. My fav fav thing is the roti bom. It's like the fattiest, crunchiest and sweetest thing but idk how to describe it, you have to try. ( I even added a dodgily taken photo )

Finally, I'm still reading Matthew. Whatcha ya all reading? I started a prayer log thingo too cos it just seems nice and people give me too many notebooks.

Praying that you're all growing and stuff. I have an early morning tomorrow. Gonna sleep now. Idk what to call this post cos it's heaps random.

xxx Jo

Movie Wimp

I am legit the biggest wimp when it comes to scary movies and stuff and well, although I'm a wimp I hate admitting it and I hate saying anything especially when everyone else in my family is fine. So basically on the weeekends my whol family watch tv together and unfortunately today for some strange reason Sanctums on. To me it sounded like some nice diving, cave movie but its freaking scariest stuff ever.

I dont know why, Im scared to death yet I can't move from my seat. So far aroudn 10 people have died in the scariest ways and I'm blogging legitly to get my mind off the movie and really to not have a nightmare tonight hahaha. Whenever i use to watch something really scary i would go read some fairy book and think about fairies or something but that evidently doesnt work anymore so now.. Dont judge. but I go and look at wedding blogs cos they are like so happy and its all so nice.

Just on a side note, the ads on at 11 are really weird.

Anyways enough for now. back to distracting myself.
xxxx Jo

Some Deep Stuff

It's funny I say to myself no more deep hard stuff just really random blog posts but I struggle. I grew up in a Christian family and I never had to make a decision about going to church, I never had to make a decision about reading the bible and in some ways I never really noticed myself making a decision to trust in Jesus.

It's just always been that way. Every Sunday I go to church. No matter where I am or what I need to do I go. So that day I complained about being sleepy and I actually didn't have to go I didn't know what to do. It's like all these things I've done all my life suddenly I'm not doing it cos I have to.

I don't even know what happened from there but there's just a time you suddenly look at your life and you realise you drifted away. For someone like me all my life I've grown up being a Christian, living like one, reading the bible everyday and just being absorbed in learning and wanting to know, wanting to find out more.

Some time in Hong Kong I realised I lost that. I lost that passion. I lost that contentment. I lost my satisfaction. It's funny all that time I didn't change. Nothing appeared different except I got snappy but everyone just thought must be her monthly. To be honest I realised without God I'm lost. All my life I've had Him. All my life I've been sheltered from a life without salvation.

I didn't know how to say any of this until today. Until just now. But i remember one day just knowing i had enough. Knowing that I've screwed. I just remember going psalm 13:5 I don't know why but I alway have this thing where if you remember something so randomly you just have to read it. Sometimes it might not relate; sometimes it will. It had been like a few weeks since I had properly read a bible and I just remember reading psalm 13.

It's while reading that, I just felt like it was everything in my life summed up. It's funny it starts off as David begging God to show himself to him and just really going he's lost and doesn't know what to do. The part that got me most though, was verse 5 and 6. Up until then I seriously doubted whether I was still a Christian. I doubted whether I was really willing to give up everything. I doubted whether I loved Jesus with any of my heart let alone all of it. Just reading that I realised I never lost faith. I never doubted Gods love and I never lost faith in Jesus.

Wow. It's good to get that all outta my brain. But I'm still lost as ever. I still don't know what I'm doing. I guess I'm only just rediscovering God again.

xxx Jo

Soooo

So much for a everyday recap of my holiday. I guess I just got carried away holidaying. Anyways idk this year I'm blogging randomer stuff. (Awks I just elbowed a pillow off my bed and into the bin)

My fav holiday passage. Psalm 30 this looks longer than in a bible so read it in your bible cos it'll feel shorter hahaha but here it is.
I will exalt you, Lord , for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.
You, Lord , brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit.
Sing the praises of the Lord , you his faithful people; praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said, “I will never be shaken.”
Lord , when you favored me, you made my royal mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed. To you, Lord , I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:
“What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, Lord , and be merciful to me; Lord , be my help.”
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. (Psalm 30:1-12 NIV)
Idk why I like there's just something?

Ill leave you with some random holiday pics. I ended up going to Beijing as well which twas fun