29/08/12 - Peace

Wow ive been really bad recently. Ive been meaning to blog this for a while. Recently Ive been reminded of how much peace having Jesus can give you and also how with Him everything is just right. 

So as you probably know I'm an organise freak. In some ways, i think it is bad because well i dont really have room for God to do whatever he wants and i really try to remember that God is in control. (i even stick sticky notes everywhere to remind me) Normally I just know where I'll take things or when I start it just flows but today I guess.. I dont know. I really wanna explain that feeling you get when you know that God has everything under control. 

For me its one of the most amazing things ever!! Its so hard to describe theres not this one word but like its a peace which nothing else can give you. Its a peace where eventhough I have a maths test looming, I know that its alright. Its a peace which just makes you smile and feel all happy inside knowing that you are loved, no matter what and that everything is alright.

I dont often get teary ahha but one of the things that often tears me up is just thinking about how amazing God is and just his love. Like no matter what you do and no matter how far you stray he's there ready with open arms. If thats not amazing enough  its knowing you have something to depend on, a back up plan. No words can really describe this feeling. Ive been listening to this song (that one of my close Christian friends suggested) as I type and it just really sums it all up and really what I want to say. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foVRP07WOAg

The Christian message is just something that is so life changing, something so different and just plain amazing. I think I sound really repetitive but if theres one thing to try or take home, its to pray to God and give him your problems, give them al to him no matter how great or small, knowing he listens and doesnt judge, most importantly knowing that he loves like no human can love. This is really compels me to stand for what I believe because there is no way to say thanks but to really share it. 

xxxx Jo

25/08/12 - Fitness Junkie

Im officially in my health junkie phase. It really has been the discovery of the app fitness pal which has lead me from eating as much as possibly could in order to scan things to actually counting calories and actually doing exercise in order to be under my limit of the day.

As I did my usual thing to day on that dreaded elliptical machine for my 20mins of cardio. Being me, I was thinking really about how killing myself for a good 30mins was really helping and whether.. well there was a way to avoid exercise yet still become fit. The best ideas i came up with was subtly tricking myself and taking mini detours where i went in order to 'not' exercise or just to not bother and hope that i just had the gene where you just remain skinny. 

In a way this is sorta like living as a Christian. Like you know what you need to do yet it seems hard and you want to avoid it. You try and do other things to make up for what you're not doing or you just try to trick your mind and say that you've done. Yet in truth we all know that we havent really done that task until we've done and conquered what we dont want to do. i dont know if that makes sense.. haha

I love doing exercise. I say i hate it and its the thing I dread doign but I love the feeling afterwards. It just feels so good to know that you've accomplished something and that your closer to become fit and one of those really sporty people (something i'll probably never be). 

The idea of a Christian life being a race is quite cliche and one of those examples where i straight away think at the Olympics track running with a trillion other people. I also find the idea of looking to the future and to what we have in store in heaven pretty hard. Like its a lovely idea of being happy, pain free, never hungry etc. but its so hard to imagine. 

I press on toward the goal to win the prizefor which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12

Today while  I was doing my exercising I really got that idea of focusing on something and being able to achieve it. When I do things I always set mini goals in order to get to the final goal so i try to aim for every five mins and when I'm really struggling every minute which is one closer to the end, all the time thinking about the end goal of finshing and having really good muscles hahah. In the same way its like with life you have to keep focusing on God in order and put God as your reason for everything.

I dont really know why i bother doing exercise but its good cos im finding its a great time to pray and really reflect on life which then helps me to pass the minutes. Anyways
xxxx Jo

23/08/12 - Hectic Day

Currently loving  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoezWBPGRAc Your love never fails by Jesus Culture. I really love this song cos its a reminder of how great Gods love is and how like he has the best plan which is something that can be so easily forgotten in our busy lives. So i just discovered the changing colour bottom. Im quite slow and I am a not bothered person so i dont know if that effects it. 

For those that live in Sydney, you'll understand when I say Cityrail sucks and I was the unfortunate victim of yet another cityrail failure. Basically some random tree fell and all the trains were cancelled. Its times like this when Im stranded that you really have to go does God really have the best plan?? In some ways today I was able to have a chat with one of my best Christian friends which is always something I look forward to do. I dont know why but its when you talk to Christian friends its just able to go on a deeper level. 

Having said that it's also important to remember to have non Christian friends, the ones that hopefully through being with you and stuff that they'll really see a difference and find out about Christianity. Through talking to people about Christianity I recently realised that when I talk about something im passionate about I just start hand gesturing. i dont know im going strange. 

now to end on a sad and fail story. In true fashion, I got off the train today an hour after i normally would and as i stepped off the train it started to thunder (ironic because today i was told it was meant to be really hot and then it was fully windy as and everything was being blown away like legit EVERYTHING) After that event, I decided to brighten my day by painting my nails a bright colour. This was all good until I finished my right hand then remembered that my thumb is still screwed. Lets just say the right hand after a good half an hour looks rather unique. If you read this and you'll see me soon please DONT stare closely at my right hand hahaha. 

Also quickly something really random today i started using this app that lots of my friends use to count calories etc. The reason Im using it is cos it has the coolest barcode scanner. You can scan the code on the packaging then it comes up with all this health info. its so coool ahhahah. for the record im not counting calories, just eating heaps to scan heaps. Its called My Fitness Pal. Now back to something constructive hahah

xxx Jo

22/08/12 - Back on the Road

I've recently.. well just then.. realised I really suck at maths so im taking a break ahahhaha. Everything's been really exciting recently and Ive really enjoyed all these deep conversations Ive been able to have with others and really discuss faith, religion and God. 

Happy to say that Im finally back focussing on God and there really is a difference. The lightness you feel is just so amazing. Ive half been deciding recently whether to get baptised. Its been a pretty long debate, couple of months now. For a moment there I was seriously doubting whether I really was a Christian and whether I was really ready to publicly give up my life for God. 

After a lot of thinking and stuff I think that Im ready. It seems so much easier to make such a big decision when you're young. I first started thinking about baptism when I was around ten. I think I was reading about someone like Amy Carmicheal, a missionary to India, who got baptised when she was 10. At the time I decided that I wanted to be the youngest person to be baptised and ...well I was a Christian anyways so why not? It's once you put something like that on hold and really grow that you realise that you aren't perfect and that God is slightly crazy to love someone so hopeless and far from perfect and that's one of the most amazing and hard things about Christianity. 

One of my FAVOURITE FAVOURITE verses that really shows how amazing God is, is Romans 5:6-8. Its quite a bit to read but its just such an amazing passage. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 I think that pretty much says it all and its just one of the greatest things on earth. So exciting this week, I get to have afternoon tea with the girl who isnt Christian who i spoke about religion to again. Also remembering the power of prayer and just praying that God will be the centre of my life and that I will be compelled to do anything for Him as a result of his amazing gift for me.

xxx Jo

 

20/08/12 - Satisfaction

Imagine that thing, that one thing you dream about. The one thing you really want. Whether its an object, success or it's something you want to do. Now imagine what you would do if you had it and how your life would look. That perfect snapshot of the perfect moment. The moment of satisfaction, knowing you've done all you wanted to do.

For me there's this big thing that really satisfies me. ORGANISING. I LOVE IT!! If I could do anything or have anything I would want to be organised and be organising things. The perfect life for me is working in an office, lots of phone calls, lists everywhere, everything in order, all lists ticked and nicely written, lots of things going on yet still being in control of everything.

Of course this is far from reality. I like to think that if I had all that I would be satisfied and my life would be complete. It seems all pretty good but it's when you think deeper. Im sure we would all love to be organised like for a student with all assessments done in advance and all homework completed and all things planned in advance with minute to minute calculation of how you days going to work. As much as this is a dream for me it's not realty.

Even if I managed one day my satisfaction and the completeness would only last one day!! This is just like today when I was craving a milkshake. I spent ages making it and it tasted amazing but in less than 5 mins it was gone. After it was gone I wanted more. For those 5mins I was so satsifed but of course that didnt last for very long.

Finding something that satisfies you for a long time is quite hard but something that satisfies forever is near impossible. It was this, that was the theme of this years RICE rally (renewal and inter-church evangelism basically an event run to evangelise to youth in sydney). I personally love this theme of satisfied.

There are so many things around that we feel will can give us satisfaction forever. This can come in many forms for me personally it can be food. Its a match made in heaven. but it doesnt last for very more. Food is temporary. This is the same for popularity. Fame. Money. Placing. Intelligence. Objects. Once you get your goal YOU WANT MORE!!! You won't ever be satisfied.

Everyone seeks satisfaction and everyone wants to be satsified. Believe it or not, think about the one thing you want. Why do you want it? Say you want to be popular and be in that popular group. Once you get there you'll crave more, maybe to be the popular girl, then later the school captain. I dont know but all these things dont leave you satisfied but rather craving for more. In fact, theres only one thing that can really satisfy and leave you not wanting more. That is Jesus. Jesus can satisfy everything once and for all.

The reason I'm so passionate about this is that it is something that you can understand and relate to. We all know that once you win once you want to win again and again and again, once you  buy something you want more and more and more. Only Jesus can just make you happy and not wanting more. Praying for those who want to find out more and those who turned to Christ at RICE ( quite funny cso im currently eating instant rice)

xxxx Jo

18/08/12 - Listing Those Issues

What can I say but Im a paranoid, list-making perfectionist. The sad thing is that im only paranoid and list-making for events and not work . This has all lead me to finally realise that I may slightly, possibly have an issue about faith. 

You always think that being organised and having every minute of your day planned out is something good and something that we all should aim for. Its was actually last night that I was really reminded that as much as my dream life would be having a trillion things to organise and being organised and having every minute of every day planned to perfection, its  not. Even if it was it would be quite boring and rather pointless. 

So this is the part where God comes in. ive been continually reminded that everything is alright and God is in  control but like this time it just didnt feel like it. Its like something I know in my head but its not really connecting to my heart. In short I'm basically lacking faith at the moment. I guess its a good thing God provides what we dont have. Mark 9:14-19. Often I dont really get how stories relate to anything, like if im reading on my own i dont know but it just doesnt really stick but this was from my devotions the other day and it really shows how like if you ask for it God can give it to you.

 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Matthew 9:24

I always find it ironic how like everything never ever goes as i plan and how theres always some bible verse telling me exactly what im doing is screwed. I guess  in some ways its a good reminder about God but I think of it as God going whats wrong with you? like honestly the heck is with you? i guess in some ways its pretty lucky I'm not God cos i would just screw everyone. but anyways this is the verse that I think pretty much reflects me at the moment and I sit here laughing now at just how relevant the Bible still is and just how.. well direct to my problem it is. 

Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.      Proverbs 19:21

As I now pray for faith and to be an example and to really reput God first, I really hope that I can regain that relationship with God and that it'll be God at the centre not me and that it'll be God's plan in my mind and not my own. 

xxxxx Jo

14/08/12 - God Centred

So I've been very bad at blogging recently. In the past week one of the greatest things I've learnt is that well, God really is in control of every single thing!! With our girls group for school, I've somehow manage to be partially in charge. This is something really exciting for me but also VERY VERY DAUNTING!! I'm one of those people who always likes to be on top of everything. Its not everything, just those certain few things. I use to plan out every single minute of my day (not that, that worked very well) Its with this in mind that i have been very stressed about organising every single little detail of this group which, has yet to happen which has then really stressed me out. Strange thing is that when im stressed for a weird reason i walk around my house doing laps and jumping and doing those really cool ballerina split things (probably not well). 

Anyways the lessons I've learnt from not being able to control every single aspect of it, is that God is ultimately in control. As much as i love to have every single detail planned out, God also loves to ruin my plans and give me that little reminder that actually you suck and have no idea what you are doing and that I am ultimately in charge and not you. A verse that i saw this week that I really think shows Gods control is 1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Its not one of my usual, God is in control la-di-da eveyrthing is good but its more of a God is in control and he'll shove you whatever he wants but dont worry everything is alright cos no matter what he shoves you, it'll be something that you can handle and if all else fails he gives you an easy exit. I dont exactly summarise it in the most fancy and church type of way but thats basically it and I find that if you reword it in a way that helps you really understand it actually helps. 

Something else completely out of the blue, in the shower today, i had an a-pith-any ( i have no idea how to spell that word but it sounds smart and you can just sound it out the way it looks there). I often have these in the shower, which is quite strange, btu my dad says he gets them in the middle of the night.. thats weird too. Anyways I recently realised I have a love for getting through to people and also for really sharing the gospel. Like its something I'm really passionate about and recently when i was talking to someone about it, I realised how excited it makes you feel and how close to God and you just get this buzz. 

So the current thing im considering is how to get through to someone who is shy and really basically is sorta scared of you. ( i swear i am like the most unscarey person. except maybe when im coaching but ive never coached this girl) The reason Ive choose this particular girl is because, well theres no nice way of saying this but i overheard my mum talking to our family friend about her and how theres alot of pressure on her and in my epiphany (i finally spelt it well enough for it to be able to autocorrect)  I realised that there is no better than way to get rid of pressure than Jesus. so now begins my quest to figure how to get closer to her and how to really get to that core issue. AHHH I LOVE PROJECTS.. just praying its what God wants though... It's really exciting to see things that need to be done and knowing that you can do them but ultimately I especially need to remember that it's up to God.

Praying that whatever you do, you think of whether it is something God wants  you to do.
xxxx Jo

11/08/12 - Another One of Those Days

It always always seems to come to this for me. Ive recently been really bad at blogging and stuff. 

So yet again its one of those bleugghhh days for me. It starts out fine and is all good but it only takes one thing and a lot of hormones to seriously turn things bad. For me today was the first day back to netball which was really good but the thing that really flipped me today was getting my phone restored. I am basically permenately stuck with my phone. In fact whenever im without its like i have no idea what to do. I dont even have to use it. its just the fact i cant look at it or just turn it on for no reason. In fact today has basically been the longest time since year 5 i think i havent used a phone. 

So lets just say from there it really has been down hill for me and today is that accumulation of everything and the snap. Something really really personal to me is my relationship with God. Its one of those things that i really really treasure and really depend on and its really funny how (again phases) you go through all these different phases where you're really close and then you seem to drift off. I love to blame everything on everythign but myself so for me its the Olympics. Its been one of those things where i go to bed late and i go hmmm.. its alright one day.. one day without reading the bible, one day without praying, it wont do much harm. but its the accumilation of all this. Gradually over time, that one day turns to two and soon you realise its 10 days. And that ten days really does make a difference.

In ways thats the most amazing thing about Christianity, knowing that once youve gone away adn once you've screwed up, there is still hope and that God is still there for you even if you are the most hopeless person on earth. That is something that will never change and really really is amaizng. i think one verse that best summarises that is

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

 When you think about it, that verse really sums up for me how really amazing God is. Like im sure none of us would think about dying for someone that sucks heaps, we would at least need to see some hope in them or somethign worth dying for, after all it is our life and thats like the end of the earthly part. Yet Jesus dies for those hopeless people, the ones that have no future whatsoever. I think thats really inspiring and something that is really worth living for. It's really interesting to see all those things that distract us from this and really take priority over something that means true life and true living. I'll never be perfect or close to it but knowing that through Christ I have hope, it is an amazing thing.

xxx Jo 

05/08/12 - Random to Reality

I have a thing for randomly coming up with things then pursuing those things. My most recent thing is I've decided I'm gonna attempt to write a book. This is even quite strange sounding to me considering I'm not much of a reader. In fact I don't like reading so much that when I finish blogging something I won't reread it.

I should probably explain how I randomly about an hour ago got to this decision. Recently I've been to koorong and brought a ton of books. Basically enough to last me another year of reading.

Another recent thing has been mission week at my church. It's one of those things I love and hate at the same time. I love it cos it really gets me thinking again about what I can do and stuff and I love thinking about that and planning ahead. What I really hate is thy every year it revives my 'i really want to do something' feeling. Its been a couple of years since I first got his feeling and since then it's been a quest to find a way to really serve and best make a difference as a Christian.

Everyone knows in order to make a difference etc you have to do something you are passionate about. Up until now I've always thought of myself as someone who is determined and possibly stubborn but that's not some skill you can use, unlike being good at basketball or someone who is really good at knitting.

It only struck me very recently that I Infact my possibly have a talent in talking or with words. I love talking and blogging (just like talking except I don't have to listen. Hahahah) and this got me thinking I could affect a lot of people like this. I feel too young to do something like start a charity but I'm pretty sure there's no age limit on book writing as long as you write well enough. After all I sort of have experience with my life I guess.

I'm actually really excited to get started and I often think of my life as a reality show (secretly I'm a reality tv show trashie. I LOVE THEM!!) and why not write it down just like one. No guarantees on whether I'll finis. I'm currently wondering about how words a normal book even has. Early days still so praying about this and hoping that it's Gods plan as well.

Xxxxx Jo

03/07/12 - Exciting Day in the Life of Me

Time for one of my fail stories. This one is quite bad. 

Lets jsut start the story with a remainder that i am basically one handed at the moment. Anyways, today me and a friend decided to go to a Westfield's sort of near my school  in an attempt to figure what I want for my birthday and for one of my close friends birthday. It all starts at Kikki k, an over priced stationary shop for people who have perfect handwriting, basically not me. I dont often go in there when its not someones birthday adn i wouldnt normally because everythings so pretty and you jsut need the handwriting to suit it all. 

Anyways the funniest bit. As i walk around and stuff (must also say im holding a boost) i see this book which says open me. being the obliging person I am, i open it with my one free hand which also has my phone adn somehow manage to not grab the book properly making it drop, which then falls and makes soemthign else shatter. Its then I sadly look down and realise right before my feet is a shattered jar, book and just pens. The thing with trendy expensive shops like Kikki K is that there arent many people there and also that it is very quiet. So at this massive bang and shatter everyone turns and face us and its then we realise.. well theres no time to flee. 

I like to pride myself in the way that i hold myself in dodgy positions. In a way i have to because I always find myself in such dodgy positions. Anyways, Im standing while the woman rushes forward and immediately begins the you have to pay for whatever you break. What can you say but yeah okay sure. Let me say that in the end I ended up paying $9.95 for 15 small pegs after shattering the glass jar they came in. At least I got 5 cents change and she felt sorry for me after she realised I have a bad thumb. Now I have a collection of mini pegs which I really have no use for and Im seriously poor. I never cease to amaze myself with what I do and I can happily say I wont be back in Kikki K for a while and that when they say glass they really mean. 

If anything, message to take away is that 1. you really should be careful in shops (just like what you are taught as a child, it still applies once you grow up) 2. glass is really glass and yeah it actually shatters. Nothing more to say accept I lead an exciting life. HAHAHA

xxx Jo

02/08/12 - Drama. Apparently My Middle Name

I've been called this a couple of times and I like to really think I'm not but I get called a drama queen. In SOME ways I understand but for the most I like up think I'm sane and normal.

As you probably know I've been taking the Olympics very seriously and today it was a combination of a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE loss ( which pains me to even talk about ), lack of sleep, HARD HARD maths homework and generally just getting lazy at everything which resulted in my signature dummy spat. Leaving paper crumbled around and random dents in books. What can I say but I wish I could drop maths.

Now as I lay in bed like I often do I find that well.. I sort of exaggerate everything FOR effect. So it's as I lie here vowing to make tomorrow a day not fixated on the Olympics, I realise yet again I'm stuck in a pattern of build-up of annoyance which leads to dummy spat which leads to some serious God begging time and that then leads to a few days or weeks max of trying to regain that perfect and amazing relationship with God. I find it quite sad that I'm stuck in this cycle. Continuously rejecting, returning, enjoying then rejecting again. Pretty much like the Israelites.

You often realise when your in this cycle. You sub consciously know but it's something you just push out. For me the last few days I've been growing further, less prayer time, less devotion and most significantly, it becomes a chore. I know I don't like to talk about my little fall into the pit when it happens but it's once you've been pulled out that I'll really talk about how without that comfort and protection I know I really couldn't handle a lot of the things I do.

I'm so thankful for this reason that we all have a God who is forgiving and loving. Someone who knows you've done wrong yet still loves you and comes back to you when you call for help. Now as I refocus on God I pray that all those who have just fallen or gotten off the straight road realign and just asked God for help and forgiveness.

Recently I've really REALLY been loving hillsongs cornerstone song. One sermon which really has stuck with me is about how God is our cornerstone. The first brick you put down on the corner and everything else is based around. It just makes you wonder what is your life based around? Is that really important? Most importantly will it perish? Is it gone once you die? Is it something that is forever with you, forever loving? For me it's for these reasons I return to God and I refocus everytime I fall, everytime I struggle on my own.

Xxxxx Jo

01/08/12 - Hebrews 11

I try to conserve my post to not more than one a day but I just read through Hebrews 11 and it's just so incredible. For those who want to check it out and have no bible or can't be bothered to find it. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+11&version=NIV this has become one of my favourite passages especially now when it's Olympics and I'm tossing up between my daily devotions or that half an hour more of Olympics.

For me this passage is amazing because it links all those stories. All the history of Israel; everything I grew up learning; all the stories; characters and it just puts it simply, that they did everything as a result of faith. It's not because they are amazing geniuses or were just lucky, it was cos of how they believed eventhough they didn't know what was ahead of them.

I normally cringe at having to read a whole chapter, let alone something that seems to be so repetitive but I guess it is the combination of prayer and asking for your heart to be opened that you trully see how amazing this all is. The best part for me is that these people all conquered through faith. They didn't ever have to do anything except believe and trust and in some ways to just put faith in something is a lot harder than having to do work. All of us have this opportunity, a chance to be able to exercise our faith in our own life with what God has in store for us.

I don't even know if this all makes sense, it's getting late and the olympics have screwed my sleeping pattern but I pray that it is through faith we will all live, knowing that something greater awaits us all and that this isn't the end.
Xxxxx Jo

01/08/12 - Olympic Blues

I have been appaulingly (apparently not a word but I swear it is) bad at blogging recently which I blame on my dodgy thumb and also on the Olympics. Not only has the Olympics stuffed up my blogging and daily patterns, it has also affected my sleep pattern. It really is quite shocking how many hours you can unknowingly waste yelling at the tv and wanting to cry at suddenly how hopeless Australia has become. I was one of those oblivious kids who thought everyone that won was Australia. So when I was young I basically thought Australia was amazing at all sports (well the ones that counted) which would explain why it was only on the discovery that everyone I thought was Australian isn't really that I started to doubt our sporting ability. Some people say I'm really patriotic but its more of my competitive nature coming through. 


Besides wasting my life away watching the Olympics and basically increasing my chance of heart attack, I.... actually now I think about it havent done much else worth noting. Yeah my life is quite boring at the moment based around the Olympics. Hey, I just realised its the first day of August which means its officially 6 days till my birthday. I liked to think I would be one of those people who dont count to their birthday and well I havent been but suddenly lots of people have been doing it for me. Along with the birthday comes what you want. Quite sadly, I have absolutely no idea about what I want. I would love to think that this is because I am finally becoming mature and of an age where I finally accept that people just stop giving you presents but quite sadly Im pretty sure that I havent become that mature and sensible yet. 


Anyways time for my thumb now recovers after this typing,
xxxxx Jo