I’ve recently…well by recent I mean since my bday so like not even a week…been trying to become more organised. I know it sounds ironic to the people who know the amount of lists, calendars, devices I use to keep track of everything but its like something I feel like I can never do really well and I can never be enough, despite people telling me how organised I am and how on top of stuff I am.
Anyways, where I was going before I hit the tangent was that I was reading my devotion in a bid to just try to focus to do my assessment*. It never ceases to amaze me how they like all seem to relate to you at the time you read them as if like God knew but then its like crayer cos like lots of people read the same thing and like if they all find that it relates too its just like omg too much for my brain to handle!
Anyways, what I’ve been trying to get to is that it was essentially about how when you feel like you’re weak and failing and hopeless and comparing yourself with others who seem to have such a better and easier life that you need to remember your life journey is different and that you don’t know what their life is like. Yeah. That’s all the pretty straight forward stuff but the part that really got me was the part after where it was like rather than struggling to disguise or hide your weakness, allow God to use it. I know I’m like the type that’s all must look composed like I got it under controlled, like I manage when others fail; like I can handle anything and in truth so often this isn’t true and that well I get overwhelmed; I feel like I fail and I just go home and have a cry.
Behind my door, a while ago, I wrote everything I want to be on sticky notes and stuck them there and its funny how like so many relate to being able to be seen as organised, on top of life and in control yet when people tell me how I’m so organised etc it doesn’t seem legit cos I know what it’s like inside. I don’t even know where I’m quite going now, but I think yeah I really wanna just be able to let go and enjoy the now and not worry about what next and how to plan my time in an attempt to make my life easier or something. I don’t quite know what I’m saying or what I’m getting to but a great verse I came across:
AND WE KNOW THAT IN ALL THINGS GOD WORKS OFR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM, WHO HAVE BEEN CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. – ROMANS 8:29
Time for me to go do that silly assessment!
xx Jo
*OMG IM SO EXCITED! legit this is the first time in my life pretty much I’ve started an assessment more than like one or two days before its due! Having said that, I only started it yesterday and its due on Fri but thats like 4 days which is a record for me!!! **insert partying emoticons that I can’t add cos I’m not on my phone**
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